I was talking to a friend yesterday about Karma. My friend was coming from the point of view of judgement, sort of a "they will get theirs" attitude. For a long time I thought that was a major tenet of Karma...that there was some ultimate judgement that would balance things out. I thought that someday the kid down the street that beat me up would get beat up by some bigger, meaner kid and that would even out the score for me, even if I didn't see it happen or even realize it happened--Karma would balance things out.
Well I've come to realize that thinking this way allows suffering to continue...both in my own mind for the retribution I'm hoping for--realized or not--and for the kid down the street who will get beat up someday. So raised in a Christian eye-for-an-eye upbringing I'm used to expecting some justice, and as I've outlined above, I was taught to seek it out. I've managed to set aside the seeking it out part, and recently I've been able to dispense with my expectation of it.
And my suffering is less because of it. I no longer look for justice, and I feel that doing away with this need for retribution has lifted a weight from me. What's done is done. The past cannot be changed, and we will do better to make the present the best we can. This cannot be done with cloudy thoughts that obscure all of the goodness that is in reach.
This is taking me practice, and it isn't always easy. But I cannot pretend to feel good when there is suffering around me, and I cannot do away with my own suffering if I participate in the suffering of others. Is this forgiveness? Is it simply forgetting the transgression or ignoring it? No, it is a refusal to be sucked in by hate, fear and disillusionment and letting these overrule my disposition.
This is how I view Karma. It is a gift. Karma has its own methods that I'm merely supposed to observe and take part in when asked. Karma is a peach that can only be eaten once it's ripe.
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