Yes, there was truly a time when I said that the only way you'd ever see me running would be if there was a big man with a gun chasing me...and then I'd probably only make it a few blocks before the pain in the left arm would start and I'd have a grabber right on the spot. But my life is different today. Yesterday I ran a half marathon.
I really was thinking about the half marathon as just my long run for the week. I actually figured I was getting off pretty easy only running 13 miles when I'd run 16 the week before and by all rights should have run 18 yesterday. The end game here is the Chicago Marathon in two months.
Talking with my wife Chris on our early morning trip into the city, I wanted to get some tips on what a longer race was all about. Chris has run several half marathons and also the Chicago Marathon. First I asked her how long it would probably take me to finish. We discussed how fast I normally run when we're training--which is probably on average a 9:00 to 10:00 mile. It's been so damned hot that most of my long runs on the weekend have been more like 10:00 paces. I really haven't pushed myself on long runs, though on 3 to 5 mile runs I will try to run 8:30 to 9:00.
Chris suggested I try and leave my comfort zone and push myself. Well, I am all about pushing myself. I am here today doing what I do and being who I am because I push myself. So yesterday I pushed myself. I decided to run as hard as I could. And it's a bit of a mind thing and a physical thing because I knew I had to push myself but I also didn't want to push myself too hard too early and run out of steam or injure myself. So in talking with Chris it made sense to aim for 9:00 miles. When I looked at the clocks passing the mile markers, I made sure I was doing 9:00 or better.
So that's what I did...and it was uncomfortable...but thrilling, too. But it wasn't really thrilling until I had been running for 1:25, it was somewhere around 9 miles into the race and I realized that I actually had a shot at breaking 2 hours. I really hadn't seriously considered that...I had friends running who ran around 2:25, and in my head I was thinking 2:10 would be an honest finishing time...for a first half marathon...for a 43 year-old man...for running for the first time 8 months ago. Ah, I see...this half marathon is a race, not just a long run.
When I realized I had another 36 to 40 minutes to go, I quickly started doing math in my head thinking how much faster I would need to run to shave that down to 35 minutes or less. What would I need to run to come in at 1:59 or 1:58? So I started running 8:30 to 9:00 miles like I knew I was truly capable of....only I had already run 10 miles and I was sore from putting out as much as I was. But the thought of doing my best--and doing a 2 hour or less half--suddenly made me into something different from a runner...I had become a racer.
I thought I was just a guy who got fit and found something he enjoyed. But a week ago I called myself a runner for the first time out loud after I ran 16 miles along the lake shore. I finally felt like I had earned the right to be a runner after I did what those training runners do. Yesterday I became a racer because I literally flung myself forward with every last bit of strength I could possible summon for nearly 3 miles in order to give myself the gift of crossing a finish line knowing I had run as hard as I possibly could--without a drop of energy left in me to go one inch further. I stood at the finish line for about 25 minutes in the rain holding my water and pretzels watching people finish...seeing the looks on their faces as they crossed the line and were able to stop pushing so hard. I love to see their faces when they finish.
I didn't know my exact finish time for awhile...it turned out to be 2:01:20, and I am very happy with it because--especially in the end--I gave it my absolute all. In a couple of weeks I'll run another half...I'll probably do it in less than 2:00. This is not a race against other runners, it is a race against myself...to better myself.
At the finish line when they put that medal around my neck I wept for a moment at what I felt I had accomplished...not just in this race but so far.
13.1 miles. I'm halfway there.
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